Ah, June. It’s a bittersweet month for me. The days are longer, it’s easier to wake up in the morning, and I don’t have to wear eight layers of clothing. Every weekend seems to be filled with weddings, baby showers, and summer barbeques. It also happens to be my birthday month, which at this point in my life brings with it a mixed bag of joy and terror. The fear is not so much from the knowledge that I’m getting older. It’s more about my anxiety that I’ve not yet accomplished enough to feel proud. Since I started this blog in October of last year, I’ve been working on two issues, in the hopes that I can curb the constant comparing of where I am now to the image of where I thought I would be. Issue one, accepting where I am emotionally. This means not trying to change it, but rather, embrace it completely until it changes on its own. I’ve found that telling myself that I shouldn’t feel a certain way is about as useful as trying to grow another two inches. Issue two, being appreciative of everything positive that I have going for me while continuing to seek out engaging opportunities and growth. While I can’t say that I’ve completely come to terms with the feeling that time is moving faster than my goals, I’m better off now than I was a year ago. I’ve made quite a bit of progress in actively going after what I want and redefining what success, as I know it, is. Of course there is still the dreamer in me that continues to want more and the neurotic in me that cares a bit too much about how other people view me. I suppose some of these traits are necessary in order to keep motivated. While I’ve still got a lot further to go, I’m going to take the fact that I recognize some positive change as an excuse to really enjoy the summer season that always seems to fly by. So weddings, baby showers, and gorging on an insane amount of grilled meats, here I come.
Here are a few other things I’m planning on checking out this month:
Paul McCarthy’s installation at The Armory (it’s rated NC 17, so it should be interesting in one way or another)
Shakespeare in the Park. I hear great things about this version of Comedy of Errors and since it was the first main stage show I did at Temple University, I’m excited to check it out (the set is eerily similar to the production I did and they’re doing it in Brooklyn accents…It’s a little creepy)
I plan on listening to this song repeatedly…it’s so summery and the video is super cute.